Remember when you were growing up, and you'd complain about how much GD homework you had to do?
(SIDENOTE: The amount of homework WE had does not even COMPARE to the amount they load on today's kiddos!!!)
Anyway, inevitably, some Old Fart would hear you whining and try to feed you some Lame-a$$ story about how the secret to happiness and a successful life is that you...
NEVER STOP LEARNING
Then, after you got smacked upside the head
(because it was perfectly acceptable to DO that back then)
for rolling your eyes at them,
you took advantage of their, yet to be diagnosed, Alzheimer's and made them an unwilling accomplice to your avoidance of doing any actual RESEARCH on your history paper
and just plagiarized everything they told you about the subject?
Ummmm, no?.....OK, scratch that!
What I MEANT to say was....
"You took their advice unconditionally, and read EVERY bit of information you could find so that you could COMPLETELY understand the project before handing it in to your teacher."
(Sidenote to any of my former teachers who are reading this.....
This is a HUMOROUS blog!!!
I, of course, NEVER took the short cuts!
I am the EXCEPTION that proves every rule!!)
Well, I've realized that maybe, just maybe, the "smack you upside the head" Old Farts might have been onto something!
I guess we really never do stop learning!!
Just this week, I've learned a LOT more than I cared to learn:
1. When the ONLY McD's in the area closes down for a demo/rebuild for 4 months........you are SCREWED when it comes to bribing the kiddos into doing ANYTHING!!!(SIDENOTE: The amount of homework WE had does not even COMPARE to the amount they load on today's kiddos!!!)
Anyway, inevitably, some Old Fart would hear you whining and try to feed you some Lame-a$$ story about how the secret to happiness and a successful life is that you...
NEVER STOP LEARNING
Then, after you got smacked upside the head
(because it was perfectly acceptable to DO that back then)
for rolling your eyes at them,
you took advantage of their, yet to be diagnosed, Alzheimer's and made them an unwilling accomplice to your avoidance of doing any actual RESEARCH on your history paper
and just plagiarized everything they told you about the subject?
Ummmm, no?.....OK, scratch that!
What I MEANT to say was....
"You took their advice unconditionally, and read EVERY bit of information you could find so that you could COMPLETELY understand the project before handing it in to your teacher."
(Sidenote to any of my former teachers who are reading this.....
This is a HUMOROUS blog!!!
I, of course, NEVER took the short cuts!
I am the EXCEPTION that proves every rule!!)
Well, I've realized that maybe, just maybe, the "smack you upside the head" Old Farts might have been onto something!
I guess we really never do stop learning!!
Just this week, I've learned a LOT more than I cared to learn:
2. NEVER think a kids' movie is the dumbest movie EVER......the sequel you will be forced to watch in a year will be much worse than you can even imagine!!
3. When you think you've said it all, the words, "You autographed my baby?!?!?" will come out of your mouth.
4. I don't care WHAT you thought the happiest moment in your life was before. The HAPPIEST moment in the WORLD is discovering the clothes in the dryer are NOT dry, so you have another 30 min to make up an excuse for not folding them right away.
5. Poker is MUCH less violent than Bible stories with ignorant kiddos--and SOOO much more profitable!
6. If kids in the Middle East are still "kids at heart", we should just send popcorn and ice cream to the kiddos there. I have NEVER found a battle that EITHER of those won't end INSTANTLY!!
7. Memory, processors, Wifi capability, software.....none of it means ANYTHING!!! My new laptop is just "prettier" with pink construction paper glued to it.
8. SOME experiments are just better off not done: I can actually wear the baby's headband......Now I'm paranoid: Is her head abnormally big, or is mine abnormally small?!? hmmmmm
9. DNA results are NOT 100%: The kiddos REFUSE to eat ANYTHING that their Dad or I like: If it wasn't for the doctor bills and stretch marks to prove otherwise.....I'd swear they were adopted!
10. Reading your horoscope at the END of the day makes a LOT more sense! That way you can twist and corrupt it any way you like, and, worse case scenario--you end your day with a laugh!!
Extra Credit:
Even if ALL the experts in the world agree that something is TRUE...
that doesn't mean it is...
after all,
not too long ago...
PLUTO was a planet!!!
At least one of your "old fart" teachers reads this almost every day....Well done Cindy Lou... ;-)
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