Bless Their Hearts

I was raised in the church, and I am a Christian, but I've never been one of those "preachy" people,

nor am I one who thinks that you have to reject all fun and personal freedom.

That being said, I truly appreciate the values, discipline, and friendships that a child (and adult) can gain by attending weekly church services. So, I try my best to ensure that the kiddos get that same experience.

Up until now, I haven't been so good about this:

 It typically became a routine where, on Saturday night, I would say we are going to church in the morning, and then realize that, by 9AM on Sunday, getting all four kids ready and out the door actually causes me to cuss like a sailor and feel so frustrated that sitting in church and "reconnecting" is the LAST thing I feel like doing! 

The more I think about it, families like mine are probably the reason that North Carolina has a "Blue Law" that doesn't allow you to buy alcohol before noon on Sundays!!! At least that way, you can't ditch church for a beer run! (Yes, I'll admit, sometimes that law is the ONLY thing that stopped me from doing just that!)

So, as I start this new chapter of my life, I figured I would start fresh, and--WTH--make it even MORE difficult on myself!!!

We will try to attend a service at 8:30!! Yes, folks, I mean AM not PM!!!!

Well........here's how the morning went:

It started off alright, I dragged my tired butt out of bed at 6:30 so I could start to get ready and let the kiddos sleep a little bit longer. Flash forward to the Princess POUNDING on the bathroom door wondering, 

"WHY on earth are you taking a shower in the middle of the night?!?! Don't you know I'm SCARED downstairs?!?"

So, I manage to get all of the kids out of bed, fed (why is it that whenever we are in a hurry, they all need DIFFERENT things for breakfast, but if we have all day, cold cereal is just fine?!?!), and cleaned up.

Getting them dressed, however, is another story altogether!

Of course, we just moved from the South, so we have a VERY limited amount of winter clothes, and it's flipping COLD here at 8 in the morning!!! Not to mention, the Princess has very particular (i.e.-STUBBORN) ideas about what she will and will not wear on any given day. Today, that meant a long, drawn out battle about why she simply can NOT wear her 2 sizes too small beach dress to church in 20 degree weather!
We finally find something suitable for her to wear, and, guess what? Apparently Mommy only packed ONE of her dress shoes!! (either that or I'm too stupid to actually pack them in the same box, and I'm sorry, but I am not going to hunt through all of the other boxes at 8AM!) So, she winds up wearing a beautiful, red, CHRISTMAS dress.......and ratty old sneakers!

Not to be outdone by his little sister, the Instigator had to find a way to convince me that an early morning church service was simply NOT going to happen.
His solution:
Use your toothbrush (with toothpaste on it) to brush your hair!
No, he was not being forgetful, silly, or just plain weird.
He KNOWS the chaos this causes because earlier this week a late night "bathroom war" resulted in the Ref smearing toothpaste in little bro's  hair in order to send him screaming thus leaving the sink free for him to win the "get ready for bed fastest" contest. (A contest, by the way, that was never approved by the Mom committee)

At this point, I am moving along on sheer and utter determination.
I WILL NOT LOSE TO 4 LITTLE DEVILS when I am trying to expose them to religion, DAMMIT!

The Bean is still running around naked, the Ref has underwear on his head (not HIS underwear, just some he pulled out of the drawer for the fun of it!!), and we have 5 minutes to leave.

SUCCESS!!
We are out the door (almost) on time!

OOPS! Mommy forgot that "Spring" in the North means you still need to leave time to scrape your windshield! Forget it, let the defrost handle it.....
2 blocks later...
Find Mommy at an intersection frantically scraping the windshield with a CD case because it's too darn cold for the defrost to take care of it fast enough!

Don't ask me how, but we managed to get there on time.
We sit down, and all seems to be going well....
they are all too shy and nervous to cause a scene.

Yeah....right up until they decided they'd had enough!!
I'll admit, I'm outnumbered 4 to 1, and there's only so much I can expect to do with only 2 hands.
So, once the Bean decided to try to explore everything, wiggle uncontrollably, and pull Mommy's hair, the Princess decided that she was absolutely DYING if she didn't eat something right that minute, and the Ref just stood there laughing hysterically at all of this.......we just got out of there!!

I'm sorry, I hate to leave and let the kids win, but I DO know when it's all for show and when the kids have just hit the Point of No Return. Once that happens, it's a lost cause; there's no salvaging the situation.

So, if I'm spending eternity in Hell for not being able to get my kids to church...

at least I'll have my 4 little "Angels" to keep me company!!!