WallyWorld

Alright, so I am now settled in my hometown.

Turns out...it's actually a GOOD thing that I hate shopping so much because there is only one place to shop here:

WALMART!!!!

(I'm fairly certain that if Moses hadn't left Mt. Sanai in a hurry, the 11th Commandment would have been...

"Thou shalt NOT shop at Walmart!!!")

Alas... I, OF COURSE, find myself there everyday because it's either WallyWorld or staring at the same 4 walls all day.

That being said....I now consider myself an expert on all things Walmart. 

The things I have learned:

1. There is always at least ONE freaky person at Walmart, so, if you look around and and don't see any.....guess what....it's YOU!!!

2. If Walmart was TRULY concerned about "customer service" they would "roll back" the prices on all of their full-length mirrors so that their customers could actually see what they are wearing before leaving the house!

3. "Clean up, Aisle 10!" is code for....."Someone just pee'd themselves in the store!!! Grab a mop and see if you can embarrass her some more!!"

4. "Code Adam" really means.....I'm already bored worrying about your stupid kid so I will amuse myself by putting out a COMPLETELY wrong description and trying to keep a straight face while you yell at me for it!

5. If they ever open Dental Offices inside Walmart....they NEED to have express lanes for anyone with 10 teeth or less!!!

6. The Photo Studio should STOP having backgrounds of lakes and balloons.....replace those backdrops with trailers and beer can pyramids to make it more realistic!

7. There REALLY needs to be a weight limit on those Hoverround carts! If it STALLS in the middle of an aisle....you MIGHT have a weight issue....just sayin'

8. There should be "weight limit" warnings on the bottom shelves......if you BEND it while reaching for an item on the top, well.....you probably didn't need those cookies that badly!

9. Don't carry more than ONE brand of peanut butter...because, if you do, there will be some 30 yr old idiot standing there for an HOUR trying to figure out if his dentures will stay up better with crunchy or creamy!!

 10. "Roll Back" does NOT mean....back your freaking cart over my child and then pretend it didn't happen!!!

Don't even get me STARTED on the parking lot!!!!!