OK...so I FINALLY get it!!!
I understand why every generation before mine started having families earlier than my own did....
It was so that they hadn't lost so many brain cells that their children were able to outsmart them!!!
Don't get me wrong.....I wanted a family earlier, and maybe if my first hubby had been as "insightful" as I was, then I wouldn't be at this crossroads, but, then again.......he wasn't as brilliant as I am, that's why he's my ex!!!
Maybe "outsmarting" me is a little strong...
It might be a little more like....
"CONFUSING" me.....
Here's the deal....
Last night, the Instigator decided to tell me which parts of the tongue recognize each taste sensation....
pretty cool, since I didn't learn that until middle school, and he's in Kindergarten. Then he goes on to explain to me that he knows how to "memorize" stuff he is told....
(ummmmm....you can't even remember that you aren't allowed to trip your 18 month old sister when she's in between you and the TV!!!)
Anyway.....he proceeds to explain to me that, if he hears or reads something and then says it out loud, he can remember it forever.....
SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?
I didn't learn about learning styles until I was in Jr. High!!....He is in Kindergarten!!!!
If he is really this smart, though, it poses a few OBVIOUS questions for me.....
1. How in the HELL does he manage to hear the ice cream truck from 2 miles away, but NOT hear me tell him to pull his pants up and stop showing his butt crack from 2 feet away?!?!
2. WHY is it that he can sit in the Naughty Chair for over an hour and STILL not figure out how to say, "I'm sorry"?
3. Figuring out how to NOT pi$$ on the bathroom floor.......BEYOND him!
4. The ice on the swimming pool FINALLY melts today, and he puts on his swim trunks INSISTING that it's now Spring time, and he can go swimming!! ( I understand that you are a Southern Boy, but if you climb into that cold a$$ pool.....I am NOT making hot chocolate for you afterward!!!)
5. Going back to #1......HOW does one manage to leave skid marks in their underwear when their pants are hanging low enough to show their butt every minute of the day?!?!? (I swear, this child will star in an informercial for suspenders.....or DEPENDS....one day!!!)
I am fairly certain that my little Instigator will NOT be working on Einstein's "Theory of Relativity" anytime soon......in fact......
I might be looking to DENY our own "relativity" sometime in the near future!!!!
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