The Carnival

I'm not afraid to admit that, while my hometown carnival brings back MANY fond memories.....

It's always secretly SCARED me. 

This town is full of enough permanent freaks and weirdos....

we can't handle the influx of anymore that are "just passing through"!!

Despite that fact, I decided to put on my "good Mommy" hat and venture out with all 4 kiddos to visit the annual freak show....ummm, I mean "carnival".

Needless to say, I will NOT be wearing THAT hat anytime soon!!!!

Here's a basic run-down of how THAT nightmare went:

3PM:      "MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY!!!  You're HOME!!! You said you'd take us to that "fun place" tonight.....Let's GO!!!!" (NOT looking like a promising evening, since the carnival doesn't open until 6!!)

4PM:     "MOOOOMMMMMMYYYYY!!" Why aren't we going, yet?!?!? JOEY'S Mom took him YESTERDAY!!!!"  (Yeah, well.....I guess JOEY'S Mom loves him more!!!)

5PM:     "Quit making dinner!!!! We can eat funnel cakes, cotton candy, and french fries THERE!!!! We'll eat MUCH more of THAT stuff, anyway!!!" (Note to self: Try to actually EXPLAIN healthy eating to the kiddos one of these days...)

6PM:     "Time to go! Time to go!!! MMMOOOMMYYY!!! It's OPEN!!!" (OK......no more excuses...time to suck it up!!)

6:05:      "What do you MEAN we are walking?!?!?! We have a perfectly good VAN, don't you know?" (Yep, I know that, but we only live 2 blocks away, and Mommy is still hoping desperately that they still have a beer tent there!!!.......UNFORTUNATELY....they didn't!!!!)

6:06:      Oh, GREAT.....we just ran into Joey on the way there... NOW I have to fake interest in a meaningless conversation with Joey's mother (whom I have NEVER met!!!)

6:10:      We arrive....$45 later, the three oldest all have their "ride as much as you want" wristbands, and we are informed by the "man in the booth" to have a great time.

6:15:     "MOMMY!!! I want to ride the bumper cars!!!" (we stand in line for 15 minutes, only to discover that they are all too short to ride--and the carny actually PUSHED my kids aside instead of telling us that!!!)..."MOMMY!!! I only came here to ride the bumper cars!!! JOEY rode the bumper cars!!!"....(sorry.....guess JOEY is not as damn SHORT as you!!!)

6:17:     WOW!!! The kiddos aren't tall enough to ride ANY of the rides they want to ride!!!! EXCEPT the bounce house.....which, of course, just guaranteed that I CAN'T get a refund on the bracelets!!!

6:18:     The Bean is pitching a complete TANTRUM because I didn't buy HER 21 month old butt a bracelet so she can't go in the bounce house with them!!!

6:30:    "I have to PEEEEEE!!!!!" (We run around for 15 minutes TRYING to find a port-a-potty.....NONE in sight) "I have to pee NOW!!!! RIGHT now!!!!".......(uuuggh.....we run home)(sidenote: I later discovered that there WAS a bathroom hidden in the back!!)

6:50:     All is good.....we are back 

7:00:     Oh, wait!!! A light at the end of the tunnel!!!! There actually ARE a few rides for the kiddos!!!

8:00:     "Who wants a funnel cake?!?!?"  (yeah, turns out--AFTER I bought THREE--that none of the kiddos will actually EAT funnel cake NOW even though they LOVED it 6 months ago!!!!.......Dear A$$: Sorry for the 3 funnel cakes I ate, but I REFUSE to waste good money!!!)

8:15:     Back to the rides, (and YES....I ate THREE funnel cakes in 15 minutes!!! Stop judging me!)......time for the giant slide......10 rides later....and 10 fights over who made it down fastest.....the carny working the slide actually asked us to LEAVE!!!!

9:00     Dear God: PLEASE let the kiddos leave peacefully!!!!

9:10:    We are home. "Mommy!!! That was SOOOOOO much fun!!! Can we go back tomorrow?!?!!?" (ummmm.....ONLY if someone ELSE takes you!!!)

Flash forward to tonight....

6:05     I can smell the scent of funnel cakes wafting up in the air from my back deck........well played carnies.....well played....

Just to be curious, of course.......

Do children still go "mysteriously" missing when the carnival leaves town?

And how much does that cost?!?!?!?