WARN Me Next Time!!!

 

So, almost EVERYTHING under the sun comes with a freaking Warning Label now.

Unfortunately, THOSE Warning Labels are WORTHLESS!!!

They NEED to warn us about the NOT so obvious stuff, NOT the crap we ALL already realize!

Cigarettes:

ENOUGH ALREADY!!! Everyone already knows that smoking is bad for your health!

What they NEED to say, is that, "Smoking might be bad for MY health, but my grabbing a smoke might be flipping GREAT for the kiddos' health in the heat of the moment!!"

Alcohol:

It SAYS: "Consuming alcohol while pregnant may result in birth defects"....It SHOULD say..."Consuming alcohol may result in PREGNANCY!!!"

Children's Cold Medicine:

It warns that you should "avoid driving or operating heavy machinery....WTF?!?! Someone PLEASE tell me how many 6 year olds have been arrested for DUI's while all hyped up on DimeTapp!!!

EVERY aerosol can ever made:

SERIOUSLY?!?!?! It MIGHT be flammable?!?!? How about you tell me just how MANY bugs I can expect to kill when I use it as a torch!!!

RAID:

Not for human consumption....ummm, yeah....I was planning on having that for DESSERT!!!

EVERYTHING is labeled!!!

Everything, that is, EXCEPT the stuff that really NEEDS one!!!

Why not give me something USEFUL?!?!?

I have a few suggestions! (go figure)

High Heels:

"Not intended for use on playground equipment"

Dollar Bills:

"Warning: You may contract an STD if this bill was once in a stripper's butt crack"

Coins:

"Caution: May or may not have been found in a young child's bowel movement"

Yo-Yo's:

"Warning: Not recommended for children OVER 1 year of age.....at that point...it becomes a WEAPON!"

Public Restrooms:

"Caution: Locking restroom door is an invitation for young children to climb under EVERY stall and make sure you didn't fall in!"

ALL Food:

"Calorie count has been adjusted to reflect the amount you will actually CONSUME before the kiddos decide to neglect their meal and eat YOURS!!!"

There are SOOOO many more warnings that no one thinks about...

I'm sure I will think of more while I go lay on the railroad tracks and look at the clouds while I have my earphones in....

no warning against it...