The Beginning of the End

WHEEEWW!!!

I, for one, am THRILLED that Harold Camping was wrong about the start of the apocalypse again!!!

Since the move, I have been WAY too busy to keep up with silly things like the END OF THE WORLD!

But, seriously?

ANOTHER "Miscalculation"?!?!?!

If you PROMISE me a Zombie Apocalypse, then I WANT a Zombie Apocalypse!!!

Just think how prepared I already AM.....

IF the End Times were really here!!!!

I, for ONE, am looking FORWARD to both the signs of the apocalypse AND the Zombie attacks afterward because, well, I've done my homework.....

and I am convinced that I can handle it!!!

1. The "Mark of the Beast":

     Been there, done that!!!! Pretty sure the Sharpie marker on the walls and the Bean's face are NOT coming off anytime before we exit this planet!!!!

2.   Locust and frog infestations:

      Seriously?!?!?.......Between the Ref and the Instigator, there have more pests in my house than any silly apocalyspse can FATHOM!!!!

3.  Blood curdling screams:

     The next time I have to hear someone screaming for their life......it had BETTER involve massive gore and actual death rather than a refusal to let the Instigator have ice cream for breakfast!

4.  Staying up all night:

     I already have to do that.............if I'm running from Zombies, then I, at the very least, won't be so flipping BORED at 3 AM!!!

5.   Razor sharp claws:

      None of you have ever seen the Princess break a nail 10 minutes after a manicure..........Pinning her down while having THAT tantrum......well, let's just say that I can DEFINITELY fend off claws to the eyes at any given moment!!   

6.    Famine:

      If you've EVER tried to get MY kiddos to finish a meal.........then you already EXCITED to see less food on the table!!!

7.  The stench of Death all around me:

      OK......I haven't had ONE single day in almost 8 years without a diaper change.........I WELCOME the stench of Death!!!!!

8.   Waters turning to blood:

      Ummmmm, yeah..................that's called a normal opening day of pool season around here!!!

9.   The moon will be darkened:

       OMG!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Then maybe the kiddos will fall sleep more than 3 hours before they have to wake up for school!!!!

10.  Earthquakes:

     ANY earthquake that brings the ceiling and walls down on me has GOT to be better than a 1am knee to the NOSE!!!!

So, yeah...

IF Harold EVER gets his calculations right, then I say....

BRING IT!!!! I AM READY!!!!