Child Labor

OK, OK...NO ONE has to tell me how much the RETAIL business sucks!!! 

I played that game for over 10 years before the kiddos arrived, took a break, and now find myself back in it again.....WTH was I thinking?!?!?

Alright...I know what I was thinking.

ANY job nowadays is a GOOD job...ESPECIALLY if said job is willing to work around your utterly pathetic availability!!!!

But, SERIOUSLY, folks!?!?!?

I HAVE to wonder how the other people working there manage to get their a$$es out of bed, let alone handle daily issues like, I don't know......WALKING, or, God FORBID....answering the FLIPPING PHONE!!

In case you haven't figured it out just yet...

I had a REALLY bad day at work the other day!

It's been a few days, though, so I've had time to reflect.

Now I wonder...

What if I had to work in a retail store with the Kiddos instead of my current coworkers...

How would it compare....hmmmmmmm

1. Taking out the garbage:
            NOT an issue!!! The Bean would just take everything OUT of the trash cans and throw it in the parking lot or eat it!!!

2.Suggestive Selling:
            Even McDonald's asks, "Would you like fries with that?"....these people can't figure out that part of their JOB is to ask if customers want certain things....the boys....NOT an issue!!! They can ask question after question after question without ANY reservations!!!

3. Answering the phone:
           The kiddos are EXPERTS at stopping whatever they are doing to to get on the phone...getting them to actually SAY anything, might be a different story, but, at least, I don't get a headache from listening to phone ring incessantly or a heart attack from sprinting across the store while everyone else finishes talking about their own lives!!

4. Anything having to do with a ladder:
            I wouldn't have to be annoyed by coworkers sitting by clueless as I am trying to reset the top shelves and almost fall off a ladder....the kiddos are natural born monkeys who will GLADLY do ANYTHING that involves any bad judgment or, better yet, danger and stupidity!

5. Lunches:
            I wouldn't have to worry about someone else rudely taking my lunch break and eating all of the food....the kiddos CAN'T eat a damn thing until I'm good and ready to feed them!
          
6. Dealing with angry/rude customers:
            Sorry, but rolling your eyes at them does NOT work!!! The girls figured this out already (the boys, not so much!)....it's MUCH more effective to deal with a grease monkey by batting your eyes and maybe pouting that lower lip, just a bit.....what can I say....they learned from the master!!! LOL

7. Tardiness:
           OK...this would probably still be an issue....but, at least, I wouldn't have to work late while I watch my coworker wash and wax his car after his break is over.....MY kids aren't gonna clean ANYTHING!!!

8. Personal Hygiene:
           Do I REALLY need to say more?!?!?!?!?..........at least I KNOW the kiddos' clothes get washed!!

9. Calling a Change Order into the bank:
           NO NEED!!!! The kiddos manage to find all the change they ever need in MY purse and then poop it out later!!! (It's much more efficient that way, don't you think?)

10. Bathroom Breaks:
           If it's just the Bean and I working, I wouldn't have to handle everything on my own for a 1/2 hour      while someone is in his "office"...I can have HER diaper changed in 2 seconds FLAT!!!

So, I've decided, that the main problem with the world these days is that we DID AWAY with Child Labor!!!

Maybe, just maybe, if some of these morons had to compete with kids for a paycheck...

they'd learn to appreciate HAVING a job.....or, at the very least, I would have the option of spanking them when they pi$$ me off!!!!