I Need to Tell You Something, Mommy

This afternoon, I called home to talk to the kiddos. Everything was great.....then I talked to the Instigator.

OH! It started off wonderfully! Lots of "I love you and miss you"....you know all the crap that makes me feel guilty as sin for having a breakdown (damn....did it again! I mean....."taking a vacation"), but then I told him bye-bye:

Him: Wait, wait, Mommy!! Ummmmm....I have something to tell you, but I don't know how to say it.

Me: OK, handsome.....what do you need to tell me?

Well.....from there it turns into this long and drawn out story about a check mark on the wall. (mind you, the kid's 5.....have you ever talked to a 5 yr old on the phone? You only understand about every 5th word!!! )

APPARENTLY, he needed to go upstairs to "secretly" tell me about this mark on the wall, and how he has NO idea how that marker got on the wall. (Mommy wasn't born yesterday, kiddo!!)

mmmmmmmmm......not sounding good so far, boy!!

He has a theory, though, that his "friend", Mr. McGee came down with the fog, and tried to leave him a message!!! But he is not sure what it means.

You wanna know what it means, boy?!?!?

It MEANS that I CAUGHT you making that mark (which NO amount of paint will cover) LAST year!!

I forgot about it!! (it's about a 3 foot long blob of red!)

Thanks for reminding me.........I forgot to beat your ass a year ago!!!