The Wiggles Revival Cure

Have you ever seen the kids' show, "Yo Gabba Gabba"?

Well......it's kind of like this:

Imagine a borderline pedophile dressed in a '70's wardrobe, talking to and playing with a suitcase full of creepy stuffed animals--all the while singing songs about really crazy stuff.......

Just think "H.R. Pufnstuf" overdosing on crack!!!

Anyway....that show has, against all of my protests, become the "go-to" show in my house.

It is soooo bad that I am actually BEGGING to return to the days when "The Wiggles" were the coolest band on the planet!!! Stupid Yellow Wiggle had to go and get sick and ruin it!!!!

(Interesting sidenote: We took the boys to go see "The Wiggles" live once, and the Ref got sooooo excited, he dirtied his diaper as SOON as they came on stage!!!)

I got to thinking, though.....I believe I have a way for that crazy wiggly group to make a comeback!

(This would be AWESOME since I always had a secret crush on the Blue Wiggle!!)

MAKE A NEW ALBUM WITH SONGS FOR MOMS RATHER THAN KIDS!!!

That being said, here is my list of remakes that I think could revive the careers of those 4 silly, colorful guys:

1. "Wake Me Up Before you Go Go":

            Wake me up before you go go...don't make me change the sheets again you dodo...

2. "Time After Time"

             If you're lost, I won't look, and you won't find me.....time after time"

3. "Livin' on a Prayer"

             Whoooah....you're halfway there....whoa livin' on a prayer"....watch yourself, or you'll get it I swear!....whoooah...livin' on a prayer

4. "Papa Don't Preach":

              Child don't speak....you're in trouble deep.....child don't speak.....I've been losing sleep..

5. "Express Yourself":

              Just dress yourself.....(I'm gonna make you).....just dress yourself...hey hey hey

6. "Enter Sandman":

               Exit fight.....Enter sight....Watch my hand....You're off to never-never land....

7. "Margaritaville":

               Wasting my time again in Margaritaville....looking for your lost toy in the dark....Some people claim that there's a child to blame....and you know....it's your own damn fault

8. "American Pie":

                Bye bye to my skinny a$$ thighs....drove the mini to the playground, and I hoped I would die.....them stupid a$$ kids were spilling juice on my ride....saying this might be the day that you die.....saying this might be the day that you die...

9. "Wanted Dead or Alive":

                I'm your mama.....on a fine line, I ride....and you will be.....asleep or alive...

10. "Every Rose Has Its Thorn":

                 Every kid has its horns....just like every mama has her sad sad morns....just like every school has its stupid a$$ forms.....every kid has its thorns...

Dear Wiggles:

There is a good start to your next album...you're welcome!

I'll expect my royalty check shortly