"Not Me"

I can't help but wonder who takes care of this little monster named "Not Me". He comes over to my house uninvited all the time?!

WHERE IS HIS MOTHER?!?!?

Dear "Not Me"'s Mother:
Your child is a little punk! He is ALWAYS at my house! Just this week, he has already:

1. Taken all the sheets off of my bed in order to grind Cheetos into my mattress.

2. Brought the puppies inside when they needed to be out. (This was discovered when I came downstairs and watched the baby slip and hit her head after stepping in puppy pee.)

3. Emptied a box of Goldfish on the carpet before having a dance party on them.

4.Hidden a PB&J underneath the couch cusion.

5. Deleted the movie I was watching to put on Nick Jr.

I bet he behaves that way at your house, too, which is why you send him over here.But consider this your warning! When I find you, and I WILL find you, I will beat you senseless! Take your devil child back to destroy YOUR house for a change and leave my little angels alone!

PS....Who names their kid that, anyway?!?!