Selective Hearing

I am pretty sure that my kids are all hearing impaired......well.....at least to anything I say!!!

Some of them don't hear me AT ALL, and the others just have their own interpretations.......unless I say the magic word, "McDonald's"!!!

I just wonder why my kids are oblivious to any directions I give them!!

If it matters to THEM.....they hear just fine....if it matters to ME....not so much:

1.  I tell the 7 yr old that he must help clean the playroom...NOTHING....I tell him I will ground him from the Wii for a week......suddenly springs into action!!

2. I tell the 3 yr old to put her clothes back on (don't ask.....I'm already worried about that!).....she says she's a big girl now and can't wear clothes (because BIG GIRLS don't WEAR clothes....mmmm....yeah!).....I tell her her best friend is playing outside......"Wear are my  pants and undies?!?!?"

3.  I tell the 5 yr. old that his pants are sagging down in public.....doesn't care......I tell him that all the girls are gonna come up and spank his hiney, and they suddenly get hiked up to his armpits!!!

4.  I tell the baby "No, don't eat that!!" and she has an all out temper tantrum on the floor.......I tell ask her if she would like some cake, and she immediatedly changes her tune!!!!

5. I can ask, "What do want for lunch/dinner 400 times, yet no one answers (and whatever I serve is WRONG!!!)....................I ask, "Who wants pizza?! And suddenly EVERYONE has an answer!!!!

I think I just need to get the  Rosetta Stone CD's  for "Kid Speak"!